Collaboration has become one of the defining skills of modern product work. It's easy to talk about, but hard to master. Especially when your influence depends on the strength of your relationships.
Nowhere is this truer than in UX and Product.
I'm Prama, a Staff UX Researcher at HubSpot. For the past six years, I've worked with product management, design, analytics, marketing, sales, operations and research — tackling growth challenges like activation, onboarding, and adoption in B2B and SaaS products.
Early in my career, mentors taught me something that has shaped every role since: your impact depends on your allies.
As an introvert, that didn't come easily. Networking drained me. I thrived in 1:1 conversations and structured interviews, but relationship-building in complex organisations felt slower and murkier.
Over time, I realised that relationships and allyship aren't the same.
A relationship gets you collaboration. An ally amplifies your work when you're not in the room.
This article is about that shift — how I moved from trusted partner to ally-builder — and the practical lessons that made it possible.
1. Start with the right people (not everyone)
The mistake I made: Early on, I tried to build relationships with everyone who seemed important. I'd accept every coffee chat, attend every optional meeting, and respond to every Slack thread. Within months, I was exhausted and had little to show for it.
What I learned: I couldn't build trust with everyone, so mapping stakeholders carefully became essential. I started asking myself: Who are the people actually shaping product decisions? Who do others in the organisation listen to?
How I do it now: In fast-changing orgs, these answers constantly evolve. I read profiles, scan project histories, and ask trusted peers or managers: "Who should I get to know? How do they like to work? What's important to them?"
For example, when I joined a new team focused on customer activation, I identified three people: a senior PM known for championing user research, a design lead who'd been burned by poorly scoped research projects, and a product marketer who had close relationships with the sales team and customers we were targeting. Those three relationships unlocked more doors than a dozen unintentional connections ever could.
Building allyship starts with identifying who you want as an ally and why.
2. Build trust before you need it
A story that taught me this: Three years ago, I needed buy-in for a major research initiative. I reached out to a PM I'd barely spoken to, expecting an easy "yes" based on the strength of my proposal. Instead, I got a polite decline. The project didn't fail, but it didn't soar either. Later, a colleague told me, "When someone doesn't know you well enough, it’s hard to bet on you."
That stung. But it was true.
What I learned: The best time to build a relationship is when you don't need support yet. I started spending time learning what drives people — their goals, frustrations, and importantly, how they perceive UX. What were their past experiences working with UX teams? This helped me identify common ground to build relationships on.
A specific example: I once scheduled a 30-minute chat with a PM who had a reputation for being "research-sceptical." Instead of pitching research, I came up with questions: What were his biggest product challenges? What had his experience been working with UX teams? Could he share examples of when collaboration worked well and when it failed? He opened up immediately. The past research had delivered insights too late—by the time findings arrived, decisions were already made. That single conversation changed everything—I knew exactly how to frame timelines and deliverables with him. Six months later, he became one of my strongest advocates.
Deeply listening to past challenges and understanding their context (environment, organisational dynamics, etc.) is invaluable.
3. Deliver small, meaningful wins
How this showed up for me: A designer once mentioned in passing that she was struggling to find competitive analysis on a specific feature. I remembered a report from another team and forwarded it within the hour. It took me two minutes. A month later, she invited me to a strategy session I wouldn't have otherwise attended.
The principle: Relationships deepen when people feel supported. I look for small ways to help — connecting someone with another stakeholder, sharing a relevant insight, or surfacing past work that answers a current question.
A common mistake I've made, and I've seen peers make it too—we only share work we own. I don't need to own the work to create value. What matters is that they associate me with forward momentum. That memory makes them more likely to involve me early next time, trust me to help unblock them, and rely on me as a partner.
Another example: When an engineer asked about user pain points during a meeting, I sent him an insight with two representative quotes from a recent study—contextualised for his specific feature. He later told his manager that research had directly prevented a costly development misstep. I didn't ask him to say that. The value spoke for itself.
4. Communicate early, not just effectively
My biggest communication failure: I once spent three weeks crafting the "perfect" research report. I shared it in a team meeting, expecting enthusiasm. Instead, I got pushback on methodology, questions about scope, and suggestions to reframe the entire narrative. I felt defensive and frustrated.
What changed: I started pitching ideas and sharing drafts long before I was ready to present, especially with the team I was collaborating with. When I invite feedback early, people feel ownership of the outcome, and they move from audience to collaborator.
How I practice this now:
- I share a rough outline before building a full research plan
- I send "work-in-progress" decks with a note: "This is messy—just want to gut-check direction"
- I ask: "What am I missing?" instead of "What do you think?"
Yes, sometimes I get a ton of suggestions. I've taught myself not to take that personally. I look for patterns in feedback—perhaps I'm overlooking specific needs of a collaborator or stakeholder. This is an iterative process and challenging to perfect, but you improve with each interaction if you pay close attention.
The basics matter too: I send docs or decks a day in advance. I add a short note in meeting invites about goals or outcomes. These small touches show consideration and build trust over time.
5. Build through your team to reach leadership
A turning point: I once obsessed over how to get "face time" with senior leaders. I thought visibility meant being in executive meetings. But I was thinking about it wrong.
What actually worked: My immediate team — PMs, Designers, Analysts, Engineers — became my most powerful advocates. When they saw the value of my insights, they amplified them upward.
- A Senior Design Leader reached out to me out of the blue, asking about research I'd done on a specific topic because they'd gotten an insight or a quote from one of my design teammates
- A Senior Product Director from a different org reached out because they saw an interview clip from a research study I ran that I never shared directly to share with me that I handled a tough conversation really well.
I didn't initiate these conversations. My team—my allies—created this visibility.
That's what allyship looks like in practice: your influence travels further than your presence.
6. Communicate with purpose (not volume)
A lesson from overwhelming people: I used to share every update, insight, and finding. I thought transparency meant constant communication. Instead, I created noise. People started skimming my messages.
What works better: Clarity builds credibility. I make sure my teams always know:
- What problem are we solving?
- Why now?
- How will we approach it?
- Who's involved?
- What does success look like?
- How will we measure it?
- What are the key milestones?
Different audiences need different depths — executives want brevity, peers appreciate detail — but the core questions never change.
7. Create inclusive forums (and invite yourself in)
How I learned this: Early in my career, I waited to be invited. I assumed if my work mattered, people would include me. They didn't—not because they didn't value UX, but because they were too busy to think about who should be in the room.
What changed: I started inviting other functions into my reviews or syncs, even if they seemed peripheral. How I do these depends entirely on local team culture—some teams thrive with async reviews (shared docs, recorded Looms, then quick sync for decisions), while others need to walk through content together in real time. I've also seen office hours work beautifully. Whatever the format, I made sure to ask for specific feedback from each function.
For example:
- I asked my product team: "How would you expect to use this insight?" This helped me frame strategic points of view that made it to product roadmaps.
- I asked engineers and designers: "How would you take this tactical insight into the product?" This ensured every research project—strategic or tactical—was actually actionable.
The result: My research became sharper and more relevant. And I discovered something else: when I contributed meaningfully, I kept getting invited back.
A bold move that paid off: I once asked to join a pricing strategy meeting where UX wasn't "officially" needed. I listened for the first 20 minutes, then shared one insight from a recent study that reframed a key assumption. That single contribution led to my being included in the entire pricing redesign process.
People are usually too busy, not dismissive. Take initiative, contribute meaningfully, and you'll start being invited.
8. Manage your energy (and expectations)
The truth about being an introvert in this work: Building relationships is emotional work. After a day of back-to-back meetings, I'm spent. I used to push through, thinking that's what "good collaboration" required. I burned out.
What I do now: I dedicate 2–4 hours a week specifically for relationship-building — no multitasking, no rushing. I block this time on my calendar like any other important work.
Setting realistic expectations: Not every relationship will drive career growth, and that's okay. Some belong in my wider network, some become deep partnerships. The point isn't quantity; it's connection with purpose.
What helps me:
- I prioritise 1:1 conversations over large group settings
- I follow up on conversations with a brief note or resource—it keeps momentum without draining energy
- I remind myself that allyship is a long game, not a sprint
Final reflection
Allyship, like great UX, is built on curiosity, consistency, and trust. It doesn't happen overnight. But once it does, your influence stops depending on where you sit in the org and starts spreading through the people who believe in your work.
The shift from "having good relationships" to "building allies" changed my career. I hope these lessons—learned through mistakes, small wins, and patient practice—help you build yours.
