Top 10 Ways to Scare Your Product Manager this Halloween "Product people - Product managers, product designers, UX designers, UX researchers, Business analysts, developers, makers & entrepreneurs October 10 2015 True Funny, Halloween, Mind the Product Mind the Product Ltd 313 Product Management 1.252

Top 10 Ways to Scare Your Product Manager this Halloween

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In the spirit of Halloween we asked our community of Product Managers on Slack (you have joined our slack chat for product managers right?) what would scare them the most. Predictably, the results were hilarious:

 

1. Book a roadmap planning session full of HiPPOs.

Shanin Schuessler

 

2. “Can you prepare a Gantt chart for next year? With every dependency linked.”

Davide Scalzo & Josh Harris

 

3. “You know this project we just finished? We need to rebuild it from scratch.”

Simon Cast & Cyril Leroux

 

4. When someone from customer service comes over and says “I just got off the phone to a customer…”

Chris Shepherd

 

5. “I don’t agree with the user research, we should just do it my way.”

Lewis Broad-Ashman

 

6. When the project you’ve spent the last three months getting ready with the team and is due to start tomorrow has just been de-prioritized by the CEO in favour of this great new idea he heard about at a conference this weekend. While drunk.

Cyril Leroux

 

7. When you realise that the product you’ve just finished doesn’t actually solve anyone’s problem and now you have to tell the CEO.

Simon Cast

 

8. When Sales saunter over and demand a feature that you’ve never heard of and isn’t even on the roadmap “or our biggest client is going to walk”.

Martin Eriksson

 

9. When you find out your product has a launch date by reading the news.

Ben Vincent

 

10. When your new boss turns out to be Bruce Willis and he just keeps whispering “I see dead features”.

Dominic Mason & James Mayes

 

and because Product Managers always turn it up to 11:

 

11. Two words: Legacy. System.

Janna Bastow

 

and a bonus Dilbert to brighten your day:

 

Courtesy of Scott Adams. © United Feature Syndicate, Inc.
Courtesy of Scott Adams. © United Feature Syndicate, Inc.